The Hidden Ways Diet Culture Sneaks Into Parenting

Parents today are navigating a confusing food environment. You want your kids to feel confident in their bodies and able to eat in a relaxed way. Still, many many parents grew up hearing messages that linked food with morality, discipline, or self control. Those ideas linger, and sometimes they show up in small, unintentional ways. Naming them can make the whole atmosphere around eating feel more grounded and less reactive.

How Everyday Comments Shape a Child’s Relationship With Food
Phrases that feel neutral to adults can land differently for kids. Comments like “That’s a lot,” “Have something healthier,” or “I was really good today” are usually meant as casual observations. But some kids interpret them as rules or evaluations. When food sounds graded or monitored, they may start to question their hunger cues or feel self conscious about normal eating.

How Wellness Language Can Accidentally Sound Like Dieting
Today’s wellness culture blends nutrition, fitness, and aspiration in a way that can be hard for kids to sort out. Ideas about clean eating, protein goals, supplements, fitness tracking, or “balancing” a meal can feel motivating to adults but overwhelming for teens. Many young people hear these messages without the nuance and may turn them into rigid expectations they feel pressured to meet.

Why Certain Kids Are More Sensitive to Food and Body Messages
Temperament plays a major role. Kids who tend to be literal, anxious, perfectionistic, or approval oriented often absorb subtle cues more intensely. They are the ones who build rules quickly or feel unsettled when things aren’t clear. Understanding this helps adults choose language that keeps unnecessary pressure off their plate.

How to Create a More Neutral and Supportive Tone Around Eating
Parents don’t need special scripts. A few simple, matter of fact phrases help shift the atmosphere:

  • Your body gives you good information.

  • Different foods do different jobs.

  • Eating enough is part of staying steady.

  • It’s okay to enjoy what you’re eating.

  • Food does not need to be earned or justified.

These cues help kids stay connected to their internal signals rather than external rules.

How to Clarify a Comment If It Did Not Come Out the Way You Meant
Most adults catch themselves occasionally. A quick adjustment is all that is needed: “I want to rephrase what I said earlier. What I meant is that it’s okay to listen to your hunger.” A small correction keeps the tone calm and prevents misunderstandings from taking root.

Supporting a Healthy Food Environment at Home
Kids don’t need perfect language from adults. They need consistency, steadiness, and a home environment where eating feels low pressure and free from moral overtones. When the adults around them use neutral, grounded language, kids learn to trust their bodies and develop a relationship with food that feels flexible and resilient.

MELISSA GERSON, LCSW

Melissa Gerson is the founder of Columbus Park Center for Eating Disorders in New York City. Over the last 20-plus years, she has trained in just about every evidence-based eating disorder treatment available to individuals with eating disorders: a dizzying list of acronyms including CBT-E, CBT-AR, DBT, FBT, IPT, SSCM, FBI and more.

Among Melissa’s most important achievements has been a certification as a Family-Based Treatment provider; with her mastery of this potent and life-changing (and life-saving!) modality, she’s treated hundreds of young people successfully and continues to maintain a small caseload of FBT clients as she also focuses on leadership and management roles at Columbus Park.

Since founding Columbus Park in 2008, Melissa has trained multiple generations of eating disorder professionals and has dedicated her time to a combination of clinical practice, writing, and presenting.

https://www.columbuspark.com
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CBT-E for Teens: What Parents Need to Know

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Fighting For, Not Against, Your Teen in Eating Disorder Recovery